Murph guffawed, half to  himself, half out loud. He remembered the conversation he’d had with Carla about redefining marriage and the consequences of such a move.

“Two women and a horse,” Murph said. “That’s what I want my marriage to be.”

“You’re crazy.”

“You watch. If they legalize same-sex marriage, polygamy and whatever you call marrying an animal is next.”

“I’ll do a three-way with your other wife,” Carla had said. “But forget the animal unless I get to pick the dog of my choice.”

“You’re a sick person,” Murph had said.

Carla laughed. But now that was happening. Since they had legalized same-sex marriage, Murph had read about a push to polygamy—after all it was a God-given right, right? A new term had popped up, a throuple, which was being defined as a three-parent couple. Now that was cool! Murph couldn’t wait to see how our brilliant leaders fixed health insurance and Social Security to cover everyone.


This is how it appears in a piece of fiction I’m writing. But when the first real discussions of changing the definition of marriage happened and the same-sex marriage push became popularized, I kidded with my wife that when they changed the definition of marriage to allow same-sex marriage, the logical progression would be the push for polygamy and bestiality. We’ve already had one woman marry herself and I do think that is kind of cool since it sort of changes the bar regarding nihilism and hubris.

Lo and behold along comes the throuple. A throuple is a three-parent couple. So far, by the definitions I’ve seen, it is two mommies and a daddy or two daddies and a mommy. But my shepherd, Brandy, may she rest in peace, was a better parent than many of the parents I know. She watched over my kids and protected them no matter what. No one could steal my kids or harm them. She never yelled at them, washed them constantly, and she loved them unconditionally. Even when my grandson punched her, he was just a little tot, she only waited till he wasn’t watching, jumped up on him and licked his face repeatedly. So of course what I’m getting at is a throuple could eventually be inclusive of animals too.

This is not about being against same-sex couples or about their right to be together or their right to the same benefits as married couples regarding health insurance, social security and everything else. Personally, I strongly support all of that and have no problem with any of it. I very much believe we should be free to be who and what we are and able to do what we want within legal limitations. I also feel that whatever floats your boat is fine, but if it’s not what floats my boat then don’t bring it to me.

So here we are. Suddenly one of our society’s major institutions has been rocked. The changed definition of marriage has thrust many Americans into religious conflict as was predicted in the dissenting decision from the Supreme Court. We find ourselves in a time of flux with a hypocritical government selectively enforcing laws and choosing whom to enforce them upon. Wasn’t it Martin Luther King Jr. who spoke so eloquently (and brilliantly) about the nature of laws and the unequal application of them?

I wonder: is this the best we can do?



September 8, 2015